Simply Shady ~ Under the Bodhi Tree: Charting My Moods

Monday, December 15, 2008

Charting My Moods

So, I need to try to get 'upbeat'.
At the suggestion of my shrink, I've been filling out this online mood tracker that is supposed to help me, and her, to see how I cycle, and what may be the triggers, how my meds are doing, and etc.. I am a bit confused about how the site is set...confused, which is to say my normal frame of mind...I get an e-mail every morning directing me to my tracking page, at which point I am to track my moods, manic/depression and triggers, as though I can remember yesterday. Memory, or loss thereof, has been an issue since the chemo...possibly could be what is called chemo brain, could be drugs I am now on, could be the disease, or most likely, a combination of all.
So my thinking is to see if I can track my moods 'real-time' since I can't remember yesterdays'....other than to say that Paul's 'Yesterday' pretty much turned me off...in other words, and I dis-like the phrase 'in other words', but here I took exception...so, in other words, I want to track my moods as they occur....seems to make sense to me, but then again, I have some 'issues', so who is to say what makes sense, or is right from wrong.
Well, enough pure garbage for now...at least I have made an attempt to get back at this....I'll be back soon and then hopefully pick up the tempo.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Two Holding On

(click image for profile) Indulge me by scrolling down the right margin to 'The Reason' - it helps to explain what's going on here.Thanks! PS: if you indulge me a bit more, on down along the right margin you will see a topic of 'Getting By With a Little Help'...that sums up 'The Reason'...but if you wish to digress, you can check out my other writings by clicking the poetry links directly below, or you can check out what else is going through my head by clicking on most any of the photo icons along the right-hand margin

DISCLAIMER:

To all who read me, you will find an eclectic mix of philosophy, spirituality, mildly erotic material, and occasional strong, unfiltered words. Therefore, all eyes here should be of legal age, or of an open mind to the content contained herein. As a staunch proponent of the 1st Ammendment, I cannot be the morality police. This is all offered up from an imperfect soul who is simply conveying the complexities of living an imperfect life in an imperfect world - while searching for the reason and rhyme, and his way back homeward – tormented by the fork found in the road, the 'Jungian fork' if you will, and just standing there scratching his ass for what seems an eternity, trying to decide anima/animus, yin/yang, left/right. So what you see here is the by-product of that age's old warfare between the light and dark side of mankind in the age of Kali Yuga.If any of the material written, used, or otherwise posted herein is found offensive, then please exercise the option to not view my page - the least one here is trying to change who he is, but the best I have to offer is an exit out to the better of the two here. I look at it like this - there is not one among us perfect, otherwise we wouldn't be here, so beware of casting judgment out on others because karma will inevitably bring it right back around on you. We all have dirty backyards that need cleaned up first. The difference is is that I just tore down the fence on my side so the neighbors could see in. We were born naked among the world, and naked we will return to our Lord to face our karma - it's the wheel, and I can't stop it, and you can't either. No entity, organization, or person other than myself is responsible for the postings made herein, or affiliated with the written content contained herein (except where expressed consent and approval are so noted.) Now that all of that necessity is out of the way...Poetry links are found below and to the right of center...the rest is simply shady ~

I get by with a little help from my friends...

The beginning footfalls of this journey left behind a simple collection of my poetry...but I soon found that wasn't enough.

So at the encouragement of a couple of 'very good spirited' friends to keep up the writing, I thought I would incorporate a journal of my day to day existence, a catharsis if you will, to purge the racing, disconnected thoughts I have had since learning that I am faced with a progressive and potentially fatal illness.

"DaBinkey made copious notes of practically his every idle thought, in the belief that they were indecipherable by anyone but himself. Actually, their secrecy was assured by the fact that no one was remotely interested but himself" - from "Humans at Work" 1986.

So you, my journal, will give me someone to while away the hours with, someone to talk to when the house is still, or simply when the mind needs a friend. You journal, may also serve as case study to show the effects of the disease process, the bodily and mental capacities as they begin to extinguish, and the attempts at fighting back - a public display of the soul coming unraveled, as it were...a willing 'lab rat'; a living experiment is fine by us if it helps another family in the future to understand and cope.

Please take a moment to check out my poetry (links at upper right) if you would be so kind...who knows, maybe you'll find a smile, or a thought to ponder a while.

Peace