Madhvvava Gosh Dasa, born October 25th, 1949, left his body peacefully at his home in New Vrindaban, WV, on January 2nd, 2016, at the age of 66.

Madhava Gosh was a pioneer New Vrindaban inhabitant, having lived in the dhama since 1973. Inspired by the instructions of his spiritual master, Srila Prabhupada, he was a lifelong activist of local agriculture and cow protection and implemented an endowment fund to care for the cows at New Vrindaban.

Serving as one of the farm hands at New Vrindaban since the early days, Madhava Gosh spent decades of his life gardening and working on simple living projects.

When asked a month before he passed away what he felt was his best accomplishment he said, “Planting the trees, because the fruits are not enjoyed by the planter, but by those to come in the future. And these trees will outlive most of us.”

Madhava Gosh had a 10 year plan to plant 1,000 fruit and nut trees in the New Vrindaban dhama area, as part of the program for sustaining the Deities and devotees in the future, to provide perineal “crops” to produce food, year after year after year. Madhava Gosh planted with an assistant well over 350 trees since 2010. 150 trees were planted by householders living in New Vrindaban who take care of the trees. There are plans to resume this project in 2017.

Back in May 2006, Madhava Gosh had a liver transplant, due to his organ failing. His son Marken donated half of his own liver to sustain his father. Madhava Gosh did lots of service with his son’s gift and the “extra’ time.

The past two years Madhava Gosh has been struggling with post-transplant liver degeneration and other side effects. Both his kidneys failed and he had been on dialysis 3 times a week for over a year. With all the physical complications he was dealing with, he became weaker and weaker. He also came to understand that his lungs were already beginning to slowly deteriorate and filling with liquid.

Understanding that he was slowly dying and not wanting to be a burden on those caring for him, Madhava Gosh chose to go off dialysis on December 24th, 2015.

The week before his departure, Madhava Gosh’s daughter, Vraja, looked after his physical care. Many community members as well as some local neighbors visited Madhava Gosh. Devotees came and shared old pastimes and laughed with Madhava Gosh and expressed their hearts. They played instruments and sang and read Krishna book to Madhava Gosh. Srila Prabhupada’s singing was played non-stop for the last week.

Then on January 2nd, it seemed as if Krishna took direct control of all the events that followed, as everything seemed to be perfectly coordinated. The sun shined through the window. Three devotees, including Vraja, sat peacefully chanting by Gosh’s bedside while a recording of Srila Prabhupada and the Hare Krsna Temple album played in the background. That morning the samsara prayers were sung and then the Govindam prayers and some of the Brahma Samhita. Srila Prabhupada’s garland had been placed at Madhava Gosh’s head.

His daughter swabbed fresh Tulasi leaves from Sri Sri Radha Vrindaban Chandra’s lotus feet, sprinkled in the Ganges water into Gosh’s mouth. Madhava Gosh, who had not moved for 24 hours, suddenly lurched his right arm forward, and his right hand, which was inside his japa bag, grabbed his japa beads tightly. Gosh had a tear in his eye, took a labored breath. His daughter Vraja said, “It is OK, you can leave” and his next breath was his last.

Madhava Gosh left his body at 11:23 am, January 2, 2016. Srila Prabhupada’s garland was moved to encircle his face and neck. Shortly after his glorious passing, Srila Prabhupada was singing the Nrisimhadeva prayers of protection in the background.

Madhava Gosh is survived by his wife of 41 years, Vidya Dasi; five children, Manjari, Madhu, Vraja, Marken & Tulasi; three grandchildren, Mary, Gracie & Sydney; and many friends.

Those wishing to do something in honor of Madhava Gosh could plant a fruit, nut or flowering tree or contact ECO-Vrindaban at their Facebook page, which specifically funds the projects for the cows and garden care at New Vrindaban.

The community members are grateful that Madhava Gosh generously gave his time and energy to develop, maintain and preserve this New Vrindaban project. Thank you Madhava Gosh Prabhu, your spirit will live on through the fruits of your lifelong service contributions.

The Fourth Noble Truth

For the aspiring Buddhist:

What is the Noble Truth of the Way Leading to the Cessation of Suffering?  It is the Noble Eightfold Path, that is to say: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration.

There is the Noble Truth of the Path leading to the Cessation of Suffering: such was the vision, insight, wisdom, knowing and light that arose in me about things not heard before....
This Nobel Truth has been penetrated to by cultivating the Path: such was the vision, insight, wisdom, knowing and light that arose in me about things not heard before.
(Samyutta Nikaya LVI, 11)

Here is what they want you to forget

The Third Noble Truth

For the aspiring Buddhist:

What is the Noble Truth of the Cessation of Suffering? It is the remainder-less fading and cessation of that same craving: the rejecting, relinquishing, leaving and renouncing of it. But whereon is this craving abandoned and made to cease? Wherever there is what seems lovable and gratifying, thereon it is abandoned and made to cease.

There is this Noble Truth of the Cessation of Suffering: such was the vision, insight, wisdom, knowing and light that arose in me about things not heard before. This Noble Truth must be penetrated to by realizing the Cessation of Suffering...This Noble Truth has been penetrated to by realizing the Cessation of Suffering: such was the vision, insight, wisdom, knowing and light that arose in me about things not heard before.
(Samyutta Nikaya LVI, 11)

The Third Noble Truth with it's three aspects is: 'There is the cessation of suffering, or dukkha. The cessation of dukkha should be realized. The cessation of dukkha has been realized.'
The whole aim of Buddhist teachings is to develop the reflective mind in order to let go of delusions. The 'Four Noble Truths' is a teaching about letting go by investigating or looking into - contemplating: 'Why is it like this? Why is it this way?'

When I was young (a work in constant progress)

When I was young...just a kid, I dug in the dirt. Now, I need to keep my children out of the dirt because it contains Radon gas and landfill waste. When I was young...just a kid, I played football in the street. Now, I need to keep my children off the street because danger is ever present. When I was young...just a kid, I drank water from the garden hose. Now, I buy bottled water because tap water is a health risk. When I was young...just a kid, I delivered newspapers after school. Now, I need to pry my children away from video games after school. When I was young...just a kid, I played army, because that was how the Government groomed kids for war. Now, I stand against everything army, and everything war, and realize that it is just another business. When I was young...just a kid, I watched a green car pull up to my neighbor's house and deliver the news. Now, when a car pulls up I peek out the window with paranoia as to who could it be. When I was young...just a kid, there were not many strangers. Now, everyone is a stranger, and you had better run. When I was young, I answered the phone with a 'hello'. Now, when the phone rings, I check caller-ID first. When I was young, a call placed from a phone booth cost a nickle, and was seldom needed. Now, everyone carries a cell phone and is on 'a plan'. When I was young...just a kid...music had meaning. Now, music is just a pounding, metronomic rhythym played loud enough to blow a speaker cone...or an eardrum. When I was young...just a kid...

The Second Noble Truth

For the aspiring Buddhist:

What is the Noble Truth of the origin of suffering? It is craving, which renews being and is accompanied by relish and lust. Relishing this and that; in other words, craving for sensual desires, craving for being, craving for non-being. But whereupon does this craving arise and flourish? Wherever there is what seems loveable and gratifying, thereon it arises and flourishes.

There is this Noble Truth of the origin of suffering: such was the vision, insight, knowing and light which arose in me about things not heard before. This Noble Truth must be penetrated to by abandoning the origin of suffering...This Noble Truth has been penetrated to by abandoning the origin of suffering: such was the vision, insight, wisdom, knowing and light which arose in me hearing about things not known before [Samyutta Nikaya LVI, 11].

The 'Second Noble Truth' with its three aspects is: 'there is the origin of suffering, which is the attachment to desire. Desire should be let go of. Desire has been let go of. The Second Noble Truth states that there is an origin of suffering and that the suffering is attachment to the three kinds of desire: desire of sense pleasure (kama tanha), desire to become (bhava tanha) and the desire to get rid of (vibhava tanha). This statement of the 'Second Noble Truth', the thesis, the pariyatti, this is what you contemplate: the origin of suffering is attachment to desire.

Scared Straight

oh young ones, you dare lurk in my shadow?
let me break it all down so I can scare your asses straight,
because I don’t want you to be…like me
you think you are the coolest cool and the baddest bad...I did too
you roll one, smoke one, toss back your vodka and bull, snort that line of pure…
all you young dudes, you who think you are invincible,
you think you are so sure
you don’t even consider the meaning…
chicks and bad cool, the next buzz your main goal...
hell man, even at some point the chicks don't matter any longer,
only the high
yeah, this old man knows the play and how it plays out...
far more than I want you to ever know
see man, I was a young dude too, long, way long before you were you…
keep on this track and you will be me long after I was you…
see young one, I was the coolest of cool, and baddest of bad...
I capped the reefer buzz with a couple Kool's and a beer, or three
and then more; Mescal chasers to boot
wasted more than straight, and straight only when times were dry...
and it never really did run all that dry
Angels and Outlaws I knew them both well...
whores smoking fags, and junkies all around…but I thought I was beyond it all…
I was called the G-man ‘cause I had the good grass;
then Thunderbird was my name as the crystal T fried my ass…
yeah, there was mesc and shrooms, pyramid and barrel…
pane and 25…more than anyone could handle
horse, crank, scag and mud, all that I knew
and I did them all…and I did them all too well too…
I was a walking pharmacy young dude, and knew every pill and every thrill…
I ran fast and I walked slow; walked on snakes and saw Satan glow…
Saw Jesus on a blanket hanging in a mushroom mine,
and George Harrison playing sitar too...
Hell young dude, I even crawled into a crypt of the dead to prove I was true…
yeah young dude, I heard the color and I saw the sound
~ medical science, they call it synethesia, I called it far out…
that was then man, and this is now ~ those days are gone...
you're better off to put them behind...
you walk a long walk going dead…and so now am I…
see young dude, I stuck a needle in my arm and now I am sick
the doctors say the have done what they can…
there is no cure for me now, there is no fix
the chemo has failed…my liver has paid the price
for the two-bit thrills...yeah, I rolled the dice
with a wife and three children I fight to stay alive…
stay on this track young dude and you will see it too
hard young man…all you young dudes
hard young man…all you young dudes
and yeah, I’m running scared, the dude that ran with Angels…
yeah man, I’m just a burned out Outlaw and life is closing in...
and I’m running scared…
See young one, I’m not the coolest of cool or the baddest of bad...
and neither are you...you are just a young one, young dude
I run scared now like a white rabbit…the cool has long since gone…
my life hangs in the balance waiting for time...hoping for a miracle
if you are smart young dude, you will run scared like that rabbit
before you see it too...
run young dudes, run scared straight like a white rabbit

The First Noble Truth

For the aspiring Buddhist:

What is the Noble Truth of Suffering? Birth is suffering, ageing is suffering, and death is suffering. Disassociation from the loved is suffering, not to get what one wants is suffering: in short the five categories affected by clinging are suffering.

There is this Noble Truth of Suffering: such was the visions, insight, wisdom, knowing and light that arose in me about things not heard before.
This Noble Truth must be penetrated by fully understanding suffering: such was the visions, insight, wisdom, knowing and light that arose in me about things not heard before.
This Noble Truth has been penetrated by full understanding and suffering: such was the vision, insight, wisdom, knowing and light that arose in me about things not heard before.
[Samyutta Nikaya LVI, 11]

The 'First Noble Truth' with its three aspects is: ‘there is suffering, dukkha. Dukkha should be understood. Dukkha has been understood.’
This is a very skillful teaching because it is expressed in a simple formula, which is easy to remember, and it also applies to everything that you can possibly experience or do or think concerning the past, the present, or future.

Suffering, or dukkha, is the common bond we all share. Everybody everywhere suffers.
To let go of suffering, we have to admit it into consciousness. But the admission in Buddhist meditation is not from a position of suffering, because we are not trying to identify with the problem but simply acknowledge that there is one. It is unskillful to think in terms of: 'I am an angry person; I get angry so easily; how do I get rid of it? - That triggers off all the underlying assumptions of a self and it is very hard to get any perspective on that. It becomes very confusing because the sense of my problems or my thoughts takes us very easily to suppression or to make judgments about it and criticizing ourselves, we tend to grasp and identify rather than to observe, witness and understand things as they are. When you are just admitting that there is this feeling of confusion, that there is the greed or anger, then there is an honest reflection on the way it is, and you have taken out all the underlying assumptions - or at least undermined them. So do not grasp these things as personal faults, but keep contemplating these conditions as impermanent, unsatisfactory and non-self. Keep reflecting on them as they are. The tendency is to view life from the sense that these are my problems, and that one is being very honest and forthright in admitting this. Then our life tends to reaffirm that because we keep operating from that wrong assumption. But that very viewpoint is impermanent, unsatisfactory, and non-self.
'There is suffering' is a very clear, precise acknowledgement that at this time, there is some feeling of unhappiness.
[quoted from 'The Four Noble Truths' as translated by Venerable Ajahn Sumedho]

When will they ever learn?

When will the age old axiom that 'you can't take it with you' be heeded as fact. 'God' did not design this material body to suffer stress...stress that has been linked to so many diseases and illnesses. We are here in order to improve our 'self' in order to get back homeward. In my humble opinion.

See previous post.

So very, very sad

A canon and purport from the Tao Te Ching as translated by James Legge:

"The text's emphasis on calmness, quietude and intuiton thus appeals to modern people constantly pushed for increase consumption, i.e., the urge to always have more. When the text says 'know when it is enough,' we understand that there is a level of material wealth and internal satisfaction that requires one to relax into the present moment and let go of advancement and progress. There is a point when an increase in consumption, a rise in a position, or a multiplication of wealth will add nothing further to one's community status or internal well-being but only create complications and difficulties that make one feel worse, not better."


David B. Kellermann committed suiced by hanging apparently due to the stress of his job as acting CFO of the troubled financial institution Freddi Mac. He was 41 years of age, and leaves behind a wife and 5 year-old daughter


(Photo and linked article from New York Times)

Random Thoughts of Lunar Grandeur

...or something equally meaningless like that...

‘That’s a good question’ really means ‘I have no clue how to answer you’

The Woodcock family of Appalachia – Lucky, Lottie, lil’ Lotta, Willa Mae, Ima Jean, Willy, Woody, Rooster, Cousin Peabody, Red, Uncle Henry, and Grandpa Younger

‘weapons of mass destruction’, ‘Islamic Fascism’, ‘Jihad’, ‘they hate us’, ‘they want to kill us’, ‘threat level elevated’, ‘threat level orange’, ‘terror alert’, ‘terror attack’, ‘war on terror’, ‘they hate our way of life’, ‘they want to kill us’, ‘sleeper cells’, ‘watch lists’, ‘IED’s’ – and box-cutters… words I hear every day

I feel like I am screaming for help, and no one can hear me

If I am not crazy, then the world must be insane

Nothing I do seems to make sense anymore

If I had lost my mind, how would I know?

What is the damage done by nothing?

From whence came the seed bearing plant?

When do you know if the mind’s eye is crying?

Let the perfect man instruct me on my flaws

That sense is common is perhaps the greatest paradox

If the self learns from past mistakes, then how is it that the self keeps coming back?

If one meditates on nothing, does one then attain nothing?

If one offers too much paradox to the mind, then the mind becomes riddled with paradox

Terse allusions - effectively concise indirect references

If the perception of what I perceive is to be altered so that my current perception is no longer what I perceive, then my current perception must be that of the past which is being perceived in the future

The paradox of choice

ah....this could go on for hours....I'll see ya' later

My PC - by A. Rant

Just a footnote: if my machine gets any slower, I'm going to rename it 'snail'.

Where are the police who police the freaks who propagate the worms that eat my memory full of holes like a cheese of Swiss? Man, this just perturbs me to no end in sight.

Currently Under Destruction

time to clean up the act to something more spiritual and uplifting...though I will still keep a journal, which will still keep the focus on daily thoughts and current topics, though likely some measure of energy will still be expended towards rage against the machine, the emphasis of this site will be placed upon the poetry. I am going to...

I'll Be Around

apologies for letting things go...working on a book of sorts, and it's chewing up my time...I'll be in and out .... good book title - 'a book of sorts'...hmm

Trimming the Budget

This morning as I was taking my son to school, in a 10MPH zone, I was passed into the oncoming by a van of 'good parents' (who were apparently dropping their son off) at and estimated speed of 25MPH....I watched as it drove off at even a higher rate of speed in the same 10MPH zone....all I could do was to shake my head and mutter some descriptive pleasantries under my breath.

So rhetorically, why have speed limit signs....anywhere...Interstates to residential zones..........nobody obeys them, and the police force is limited by budget cuts. Do away with them. I have no idea how much the savings would be, but 52 states x number of signs would, I think, be considerable...including maintenance and installation fees.

While I am at it, why not eliminate the yellow 'caution' light at traffic lights...again, nobody obeys. Just a muse.

Gabby

Well, Saturday was a bust. My daughter's dog ( a cute and very friendly fox terrier) had to be put down. Long story short - she was in a fight with my shepherd/collie mix and a 95 lb. dog vs. a 20 something lb. dog - so the outcome was fairly obvious. The damage (brain) was done when my daughter pulled back on Gabby's collar (too hard....so bear this in mind people)...and it shifted her brain.

Anyway, my beliefs teach me not to grieve, but then I am only human.....and your pet is part of the family....it's a sad day.

TURN AND FACE THE STRANGER

IT'S TIME TO BE A BETTER MAN

Hoping to leech away the past vile bitterness that has pulsed through my veins for what has been nearly a lifetime now. Time to let go of my demons...time to fight those that I have wrought.
The Seeker 2/09

A fragment of true sorrow

Hey look, as harsh as I might have been to you, I truly feel sorry for you and your family. The heart ache shows. But what I wonder, and what set me off then, and now, when you live you life of corrupt opulence, did you once think of the jobless, of those who where doing without, of those who were suffering. Did you do so on a Friday night Cocktail Party, or a Saturday Night Ball? Did you think about the kids on the South Side - the homeless - Christmas for the kids - the kids in the hospitals. No, I figure not. I figure Champagne, Brie, Caviar, and Mignon took precedent. That's what pisses me off Rob. That's what turns my sorrow and pity for you and yours to pure spite and a feeling of 'you got what was coming to you pal'.

(New York Times Photo)

Blagojevich - Fresh White Meat

Rather than spend tax payers (my) money to appeal this jack-off's case in court, America, why nor for once let's get it done right. Let's apply good 'old-fashioned' democracy and put this to a vote among the people. If he wins, he stays, if he loses, he goes....and, with some of the money saved for court costs we could surely afford a haircut to knock down those silly-ass'ed, pre-Bee Gee dated, disco date-rape stalker looking bangs he sports.....the ones that the guy always wearing the cod-piece, or rolled up ball of socks wore. The dude is one strange agent for certain.

I Pledge Allegiance

You know, I swear I need to get this page of my blog back to the original intent of tracking my daily thoughts, activities, etc., as my life unwinds...but maybe this particular post is doing just that. After all, this is on my mind today, and comes and goes in my mind, so out of my mind it comes today:

I pledge allegiance to the flag
(now this is a concept that I don't quite grasp, and honestly it has always spooked me - I find it quite bizarre to ally myself with a flag. While I am happy that I live in America, I have allegiance only to my family)
of the United States of America
(I am a frequent flyer of C-Span - Senate Proceedings, etc.,and the news in general - I surely don't see much 'unity' in America)
and to the Republic for which it stands
(ah, Republic as in Peoples Republic of China? - I thought we were a Democracy)
one nation under God
(the same God that is banned from public school, by chance? the same God that said not to ally oneself to an inanimate thing, image, article?)
indivisible
(you've got to be joking! we are the most divided country going now other than Iraq)
with liberty
(and wire-tapping)
and justice
(and water-boarding)
for all
(except Wall Street, the Big Three, and Big Oil)

and for the real in-depth thought agent, if you are thinking ahead to a Checkmate! 'got 'cha' ...Beware! Not all is what it seems, and not all you see is what it is...if there is nothing, then there is nothing to attach to...think it over.

Stimulate This!!!

$1000.00 'Stimulus Package'...to ah, jump-start the economy. Yeah, well let's just do the mathematics on this dandy, okay boys and girls.
Now, if you are fortunate enough to be unlike me (I am in the rears on taxes because of illness and the likes, so I don't see a damned dime of my 'stimulus'....never even get a whiff of it...it goes from one office in Washington, across the hall to another office in Washington, and so the beauty of it is that it never leaves Washington)...but my problem, so I digress...

So, if you are 'similar' to me, are have a family of 4 ~ 5 mouths to feed and house...well, let's just break this fucker down, okay?

$400.00/month grocery bill
$80.00/gasoline (+/- depending on whatever excuse is in the pipeline for the given month)
$Electric Bill
$Water Bill
$Garbage Bill
$Tax (which caused me not to get my 'stimulator' in the first place)
$Beau coupe medical bills and high prescription drug costs
and on and on and on......and there goes your fuckin' $1000.00 'Stimulus Package'

Jump-start the economy! Yeah, Washington....Stimulate This! You bunch of fucking jokers!!

Have You Seen This Man?

In a move to help bolster the failing economy, brought about by a fucked up corrupt administration who thank-god is on it's way out, a fucked up and bogus war, a corrupt and criminal bail-out of Wall Street and 'Big Banking', followed by yet another bail-out of 'Big-Banking', followed by a bail-out of 'Big-Oil', today released this composite drawing of D.B. Cooper. Cooper, as you may remember, was the name given the man who hijacked a Boeing 727 on Nov. 24, 1971. He parachuted from the plane with a $200,000 dollar ransom. It is believed that if this money could be recovered that 200 families could receive a stimulus package of $1000.00 each (or 1000 families could receive $200 each) to help 'jump-start' the economy.

Here Is What They Don't Want You To See

Haven't you ever wondered why? Can't say they didn't learn from past 'mistakes'

It's Time

...to do away with regression therapies, and move forward to progressive thoughts. I have come to realize that some ghosts will ride with me 'til I die...still other's I will never share/cannot ever share, with any other soul...these, I recognize, serve as a penance, if you will; the down cycle of the Karmic wheel....the reaction to the action. I have accepted that no amount of discussion can ever cleanse me of these, and so I carry them silently with me to the pyre as designed.

Okay, so let's break this down a bit...

...obviously from my writing it is crystal clear that a hint of non-conformity to societal doctrines is present...a throwback to the 60's I am perhaps, and as CSNY framed it best, 'Carry On'...and I do. Like Wavy Gravy and Country Joe.

My spiritual roots are based in 'Eastern' philosophical loam...teachings of The Bhagavad Gita, Bhakti Yoga, Karma Yoga, and simply, Humanity, but I find at present the way of the Bodhisattva (Buddhism ), and Tao, or literally, 'the way', as the easiest concept for the unfamiliar, or novice 'God-seeker' to grasp ... as I don't have what I would consider a personal relationship with a "god' as of yet, although I have been my happiest in Krishna Consciousness, I find myself still getting angry at God (or the concept of 'him') ...I guess much the way he gets angry with me...so I call it a draw.

1.) This is not to say that I don't believe in Jesus...most likely I do, but only as a mortal teacher of 'Godly' ways....if I am to believe that Jesus is the son of God, then God raped and impregnated the Virgin Mary, and coveted Joseph's wife (there are some commandments being broken here...to the best of my Biblical knowledge, and I just cannot tolerate that canon). Fuzzy logic to me.

So, in my feeble mind, it follows that such great teacher's as below are all 'God' incarnate, or walked this walk after being deposited here by an alien space race ~ or could this concept be that we (us, the human race) simply need to assign something 'tangible' to the god concept to hold onto to assure us that this life is not in futile vain, and that there is a force 'out there' that loves us:

a) Buddha - mortal man...the 'enlightended one' concept, and first teacher of disassociation to attachment and doing 'un' to others ~ lead by example

b) Lao Tzu- mortal monk and one of many teachers of the way (Tao) ~ basis behind Buddhism, Hinduism, and even Plato...harmony achieved by total acceptance of change, or the evolution of life

c) Krishna - 'supreme being' incarnate concept, and acharya of disassociation with impurity and woes: also advisor to Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra; consort was Radha

d) Chaitanya - 'Golden avatar' of Krishna; monk and teacher by example of devotion

e) Moses - a leader of people who reportedly obtained wisdom from a burning bush

f) Jesus - mortal man considered by some as son of god; teacher of good acts and peace activist (similar to Buddhism); same spiritual plane as Krishna

g) Mohamed - another spiritual guide, like Moses

h) Abraham - damned good with a knife and adept at following orders, but possibly a tad
schizophrenic - 'Son of Sam' heard voices too

i) Sitting Bull - a great warrior and leader of people; a tad bit smarter than Custer, but out-numbered by thieving drunkards...but like Abraham, damned good with a knife; Black Elk was also an 'enlightened one'

j) Gandhi - like Krishna, Jesus, and Abby Hoffman, but with a touch of Thoreau tossed in for good measure

k) Martin Luther King Jr. - same, like Gandhi, Jesus and Abby wrapped into one spiritual burrito, if I may take license

l) Mother Teresa - same playing field as Gandhi (now purportedly to have doubted the existence of a living, loving God after seeing to the needs, suffering and sorrows of life as she had) .....

All of these personages have made their own way to reconcile their soul with 'God', or good karma...it is up to us to make our own way...and we can choose any of these exemplars to guide us, or find our own way as did they.
I think the point is made, and with hopes that my examples were not seen as too trite or offensive. The truth is that I hold onto belief in a higher power, and I believe that there is one, and only one, higher power, and I do not believe this 'being' discriminates love based upon the path the follower is taking on his/her way back homeward. After all, what is in a name?

2.) Point number two leads me back to point one - if Genesis is correct, then the first people on earth were Adam and Eve...they had two sons, Abel and Cain....now my question is a simple one. If two sons were born, and no mention of a daughter was made, then how did the human race propagate? I see many ways to take this plunge, but I'll leave it to the scholars to debunk since it seems a 'touchy' subject.

3.) I sense that I have placed myself in the auspicious company of Salman Rushdie for speaking my form of 'blasphemy'....what is important to note is, is that I am a believer - I believe in a higher 'source' or 'existence', it is merely that I view it in an atypical way....I believe that our outcome is in our own hands....not written on a scroll, or in a book. Heresy is another non-secular principle thrown about with wreck less abandon in an otherwise secular, or agnostic world.

But no, I am not atheist...far, far from it (any yes, I know I should not start a sentence with a conjunction, e.g., 'but')....and most probably I am far from being agnostic, and on and on ad infinitum...it's that I just have 'different' beliefs on Godhead, and the meaning of 'God'. (Read on to 4 & 5 and perhaps see why I choose to differ my viewpoints.)

4.). God has a warped since of humor. He instructed Abraham (i.e., Abe heard a voice in his head) to take his son Isaac to the mountain top to shorten Isaac's height by a head or so. At the last minute [HE] said 'whoa! it was just a joke man...just a test to see if you loved me more than you loved your son', 'but you gotta' admit Abe, it was a helluva hilarious stunt'.

5.) God so loved the world that he gave his #1 for the sins of mankind. So, God loves me, but I have been taught all of my life of a need to fear God? Let's frame this right, he loves me, but I'd better not piss him off or to hell for eternity I go? hmm? now there's unique concept.

6.) Well, I haven't decided on 6 yet, but here is what I'll add at this point. I tend to believe in the thought that our destiny is in our own hands. It's not written in some mythological book like Harry Potter....we all have 'God Soul' inside of us...just as we all have 'Satan Soul' inside of us...it is up to us to choose our path...good/bad, yin/yang/, anima/animus, light/dark, ...the fork in the proverbial road - the karma of action, the karma of result.

Me, I choose not to come back to this putrid, corrupt and evil earth...I choose to go on to be with the enlightened ones on another spiritual plane. Enough! It's late, I'm drained, and I'm not making my case very well, so I'll recess court for now.

I don't even know how to give this a title

And I've gotta' track my moods 'cause I'm fucking off the reservation! Jesus! And I don't necessarily buy into that either....People, we've gotta' all wake up before it's too late...let's start by tasting the bullshit as it is crammed down our collective throat...that's a good jumping off point to start....hell, I advocate Civil Disobedience under my Constitutional Rights to Freedom of Speech, Freedom to Assemble, Freedom to Peacefully disagree as I am getting fucked up the ass by Washington....anyone else ready to join me?

Charting My Moods

So, I need to try to get 'upbeat'.
At the suggestion of my shrink, I've been filling out this online mood tracker that is supposed to help me, and her, to see how I cycle, and what may be the triggers, how my meds are doing, and etc.. I am a bit confused about how the site is set...confused, which is to say my normal frame of mind...I get an e-mail every morning directing me to my tracking page, at which point I am to track my moods, manic/depression and triggers, as though I can remember yesterday. Memory, or loss thereof, has been an issue since the chemo...possibly could be what is called chemo brain, could be drugs I am now on, could be the disease, or most likely, a combination of all.
So my thinking is to see if I can track my moods 'real-time' since I can't remember yesterdays'....other than to say that Paul's 'Yesterday' pretty much turned me off...in other words, and I dis-like the phrase 'in other words', but here I took exception...so, in other words, I want to track my moods as they occur....seems to make sense to me, but then again, I have some 'issues', so who is to say what makes sense, or is right from wrong.
Well, enough pure garbage for now...at least I have made an attempt to get back at this....I'll be back soon and then hopefully pick up the tempo.

Still in a Fog

I have basically been in a funk since the last posting here. I have done some work with links, avatars, etc., but the writing has been roadblocked. I have posted some poems and etc., on my links, but my journal is in a state of 'under construction' once again. I need to pull this page back to what I intended it to be...basically, the life of me....or, 'my book'. Check back frequently, but in the meanwhile, check my poetry pages for new postings. Thanks.

Weed

Okay, this will be a divergence from the normal, but if you'll note, I really have no established norm, other than non-conformance...so I guess this piece with fit like a hand into a glove. I will be short and to the point with this.

It's time to quit fuck farting around and fucking about with the bogus war on drugs...it's high time (now 'High Times', how about that as a pun) to legalize marijuana and put some profit back into the government coffers at the same time. This is, after all, according to the book of Genesis, a seed bearing plant that God placed here for us to make use of (Genesis...the first book in the Holy Bible, on which I would be required to swear to tell the truth if I were arrested for possession of marijuana)

That's right, decriminalization just as an exact duplication of the end of Prohibition in the early 30's...during prohibition the only people who profited were the criminals (e.g., Al Capone, for one).....the Kennedy family made their fortune, and many were poisoned by tainted and impure alcohol (drug). It's the same way currently with marijuana. When the government figured a way to tax alcohol, then low and be by god fucking behold, it became legal...it was no longer a poison...overnight folks! Just like that! So it would seem to follow that marijuana would present a perfect parallel comparison.

But now, with a economic downturn, the likes of which have not be seen since the early 30's, and waging an asinine non-existent war on drugs in Columbia (my ass) - we spend money for nothing, and bring nothing back in return. We should not be surprised that in the age of Haliburton, lobbyist's, cronyism, and big business, that our government would spend billions of dollars to pad the pockets of large money contractors who pumped high amounts of capital into the election and political future of the candidate of there benefit.....er, I meant choice. Scratch mine, I'll scratch yours....it's really that simple folks....no quantum physics involved here....just corruption and greed.

Absolutely there are ways to calculate taxable and regulated grades of marijuana (just as with alcohol)...provided this is government grown, high-quality weed, free of pesticides and other chemicals.

Let's think about what could conceivably be the reason(s) for not de-criminalizing? Let's get well beyond the fact that the reason might be given that the government cares for the health and well-being of the children.....if that were the case, then why the fuck are our kids being sacrificed in dumb-ass wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Could it be cutting into the profit of alcohol manufacturer's (since a good deal of people would prefer a good smoke over a drunken stupor and subsequent hangover)....not to say that a beer or two would not set well after the smoke...so it wouldn't be a total loss to big alcohol.

Could it be that the by-product hemp...now that has long stuck in the craw of cotton growers because hemp fabric is much more durable than cotton, and would be much more abundant than cotton if marijuana were legalized.

Okay, so we've covered two....so what else?

Could it be that big pharmaceutical objects based on the grounds that marijuana is proven to be much more beneficial in certain cases such as easing of nausea and pain in cancer cases, and other chronic diseases and illnesses....helping glaucoma patients to see, for example, alternative treatment of stress and depression for another, verses highly toxic and costly psychotropic drugs, which we have no idea of the effectiveness or long term side effects...so could it be that we have found yet a third reason to resist?

Take My Advice

Another day in the zone. I swear I need to shake this 'thing' before it does me down. All I want to do is sleep. Chronic fatigue from the Hep? Probably. Disease in forward progression? Well, we know it isn't going backwards for sure, so quite possibly this is the next step.

This is no way to be, I can assure you of that. Take heed, take heed. Hopefully I can get something down on here worthwhile...though the advice to take heed is the most worthwhile advice I can pose.

poppies will make them sleep

Hey blog....how have you been? It's been a few days. I have been fatigued beyond belief, and have been sleeping most of the time I have been away (and no, it's not 'turkey coma'....go light on the karmi you know). I am only up and on here now at the coaxing and prodding of my family...otherwise, I would sleep.
I am no doctor, but I know enough to listen to my own body....I fear the disease is on the move once again. You just cannot realize how much of a bummer that is to me.

For those of you who abuse chemical substances (prescription drugs or other 'man-made' substances), or are thinking of taking such drugs (excluding marijuana, for which I remain a staunch advocate of the de-criminalization for possession or use -recreational or medicinal - or any naturally occurring ceremonial plants such as peyote and psilocybin, of which I remain an advocate for regulated usage only under the guidance of a qualified, well-practiced and well-intended Shaman or sage, for spiritual practice and/or medicinal uses only...also, I highly advise to steer clear of jimson weed, morning glory and nutmeg)....take this message to serious heart. For where I am is where you don't want to be...no no, not at all.

There are better ways to 'alter' your consciousness.....seek them out and try them first. Meditation and Bhakti yoga are two good alternatives. Hatha yoga and breathing exercise, or even a walk or a good book, as mundane as it sounds, can help when you need a reality break.

Here We Go Again - 2

I no sooner posted the previous and turned on the tele...it's on folks!!! Mother India, Mumbai is burning and the death toll is rising...conflicted man fights on the battle of Kurukshetra once again! This time with AK's and bombs....no elephants packing howdahs - no Pachydermata battering rams, no quiver of arrows or charioteers...ah yes, the progress of man