Simply Shady ~ Under the Bodhi Tree: errgh!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

errgh!!!

just finished up with another project on here, so dropped in to drop out...another one of my joys lately has been peripheral neuropathy...I am told it's due to a combination of the chemo and degenerative disk disease (chemo accelerated prior osteoarthritis, resulting in stenosis in my spine...medical blah blah blah)...anyway, a short story long. My feet, consequently, feel like they are sealed in solid blocks of ice...doctor says it because the nerves are telling my head to turn up the heat, and it's absolute misery, drag-foot and the rest. I have this big right toe that is killing me with arthritis (oh yeah, the only toe I can feel on the foot...different nerve bundle they tell me), and is swollen to about twice normal size....anyway, I have this .357 magnum, and I've been seriously considering shooting that toe off.

A fellow guitar man had a mother who had the same deal and she had her toe lopped off with a knife....but then I've had people tell me 'hell man, you won't be able to stand if you do it'.......that's kinda' funny to me....it reminds me of a long gone time when a handful of us 'head cases' were sitting around debating the big debate...I said that when I went that I wanted to be roasted....cremated and then have everyone present cut a line of my ash and snort it...I had this friend Tommy Lee (no, not that one)...he said 'you're crazy man....I'm not snorting your ass!'....gawd that was funny then.....I half expect it still is. Anyway, I'll let you know how that turns out (shooting my toe)...if I don't miss

Hey, as a side-bar, I alluded at one point on here to 'Candy' from out on the island ...when I get up the juice I may parley that entire scene on here....it's runs fairly parallel to 'Candy' and that whole scene from Lou Reed's 'Walk on the Wild Side'....yeah man, I walked it.
Was just thinking...a friend we called 'Hippie' ...he was a whack...had a younger brother Paul who got really gorked on dilaudid and heroin (d's and scag we called it)....was so bad that on one occasion he was hurting so terribly that he scored and couldn't wait until he found clean water....Paul found a mud puddle - guess you can figure the rest. Anyway, Paul, he finally couldn't take it anymore...he found a shotgun solution in the upstairs apartment...that was the end of the days in those digs on the East side.

Yeah, that story....sometime I'll get into it....closer to the day perhaps, so that I won't have to look into the eyes of loved ones for so long after the fact...it's a bruiser

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: Hello Greggory, thanks for your email. Im sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. I see people that suffer everyday from all sorts of illnesses. It makes me very thankful for my health. I hope you are surrounded by the love and support of your family and friends as this is the only thing that matters.

Your email was very sweet.I thankyou again.

C; November 14, 2008 at 6:57 PM

Post a Comment

Two Holding On

(click image for profile) Indulge me by scrolling down the right margin to 'The Reason' - it helps to explain what's going on here.Thanks! PS: if you indulge me a bit more, on down along the right margin you will see a topic of 'Getting By With a Little Help'...that sums up 'The Reason'...but if you wish to digress, you can check out my other writings by clicking the poetry links directly below, or you can check out what else is going through my head by clicking on most any of the photo icons along the right-hand margin

DISCLAIMER:

To all who read me, you will find an eclectic mix of philosophy, spirituality, mildly erotic material, and occasional strong, unfiltered words. Therefore, all eyes here should be of legal age, or of an open mind to the content contained herein. As a staunch proponent of the 1st Ammendment, I cannot be the morality police. This is all offered up from an imperfect soul who is simply conveying the complexities of living an imperfect life in an imperfect world - while searching for the reason and rhyme, and his way back homeward – tormented by the fork found in the road, the 'Jungian fork' if you will, and just standing there scratching his ass for what seems an eternity, trying to decide anima/animus, yin/yang, left/right. So what you see here is the by-product of that age's old warfare between the light and dark side of mankind in the age of Kali Yuga.If any of the material written, used, or otherwise posted herein is found offensive, then please exercise the option to not view my page - the least one here is trying to change who he is, but the best I have to offer is an exit out to the better of the two here. I look at it like this - there is not one among us perfect, otherwise we wouldn't be here, so beware of casting judgment out on others because karma will inevitably bring it right back around on you. We all have dirty backyards that need cleaned up first. The difference is is that I just tore down the fence on my side so the neighbors could see in. We were born naked among the world, and naked we will return to our Lord to face our karma - it's the wheel, and I can't stop it, and you can't either. No entity, organization, or person other than myself is responsible for the postings made herein, or affiliated with the written content contained herein (except where expressed consent and approval are so noted.) Now that all of that necessity is out of the way...Poetry links are found below and to the right of center...the rest is simply shady ~

I get by with a little help from my friends...

The beginning footfalls of this journey left behind a simple collection of my poetry...but I soon found that wasn't enough.

So at the encouragement of a couple of 'very good spirited' friends to keep up the writing, I thought I would incorporate a journal of my day to day existence, a catharsis if you will, to purge the racing, disconnected thoughts I have had since learning that I am faced with a progressive and potentially fatal illness.

"DaBinkey made copious notes of practically his every idle thought, in the belief that they were indecipherable by anyone but himself. Actually, their secrecy was assured by the fact that no one was remotely interested but himself" - from "Humans at Work" 1986.

So you, my journal, will give me someone to while away the hours with, someone to talk to when the house is still, or simply when the mind needs a friend. You journal, may also serve as case study to show the effects of the disease process, the bodily and mental capacities as they begin to extinguish, and the attempts at fighting back - a public display of the soul coming unraveled, as it were...a willing 'lab rat'; a living experiment is fine by us if it helps another family in the future to understand and cope.

Please take a moment to check out my poetry (links at upper right) if you would be so kind...who knows, maybe you'll find a smile, or a thought to ponder a while.

Peace